Changing of Seasons
by Wandering Gypsy of the Wastela
Summary: Elrond to Aragorn, 1st person POV, regarding Legolas.....slash implied. A short little excerpt. Feelings never realised.


I knew he would never be mine, at least not in the way I truly desired. He shared my bed, he spoke of love, he was my companion, my soul--but he did not love me. No, perhaps those words are harsh and ill favoured of him. He did love me, in his own way, in the way he was able to--but I did not have his heart, never could he give that to me. I often thought he would never give it to anyone, he was simply too spirited, too free--my beautiful wood elf. He came and went as he pleased, I had no choice but to allow it, he was a Prince after all. Had I attempted to cage that spirit, I would not have been granted the parts of him I did have access too. I had thought never would he give his heart, even as I dearly prayed if he did, it would be to me--for he had my heart from the moment I laid eyes on him. He was young then, and even now in my eyes he still seems young. Much time has passed since our first hesitant kisses, stolen moments of passion--many generations of men have been borne and have then again died. Many more would come and go endlessly before my love would ever fade. I saw my doom in him at the same instance I saw my future. I would love him, but in the end I would cross to the Havens alone. My day would come, but not until uncountable seasons came and went.   
  
I knew I had been wrong the day he met you. With a pain in my heart I saw it in both your eyes, the instant spark that you both tried so hard to deny for so long. I marvelled at the way you longed for moments together, yet desperately tried to avoid each other. It would have been amusing, had I not loved him so. I never held it against you, it was not your fault. The sadness and jealousy that would fill me as I watched him instruct you in archery, guiding your hands, as you thought no one was watching. It was completely innocent of course--never did a glimpse a kiss or an inappropriate touch. He stayed faithful to me, at least in body. His heart belonged to you now though, but you never saw it! Neither of you did, it was the most frustrating and endearing thing I think I have ever endured. Had you just told him, or he told you, my pain could have ended. He would have left me, I could have moved on. I could have helped that along, I suppose, but I kept my secret--for selfish reasons, I know that now.   
  
When your affections turned to my daughter, I let it be, though I did not give my blessing for marriage immediately. You thought it only because you would not claim your kingdom, but it was partially for her. It was not fair to her, but I think she knew, as I knew...that your heart belonged elsewhere. You love her, I know this--as he loves me. YOu love her with the most you will ever be able to give her, and as it is with me--it is enough for her, or at least it has to be. You have her heart, her life--even if you never asked for it. I finally agreed because part of me hoped it would solve my problem, end my pain. You would marry her, you would be gone from my household. It did not ease things, in some respects I think it made them worse. There was such a sadness in him after your marriage, that I don't think he even realised he had. And there was a sadness in you too. Such a sad, proud king. I could never hold him giving his heart to you against you, nor against him. It would be as angering that the leaves turned and fell--for they have no control over such things. Our hearts do as they will, no matter how we rail against the happening.  
  
Now it is too late, you have grown cold and still as all men eventually do. Your hands folded neatly across your breast, your sword clutched between them. No breath passes your lips. We are all here to bid you our last farewells. Her grief is quiet, the tears silent. My own catches in my throat, I loved you as a son, even before you wed my daughter. He is the one I worry for. He stands silent, but the pain in his blue eyes is nearly more than I can bare. He never told you how he felt, you never told him. And I never told either of you. Be at peace, Estel. Aragorn, Son of Arathorn. Elessar, King of Gondor. Be at peace now, as you never were in life. For his peace will never come and he will be lost to his grief.


End file.
